it's not cheating when I paid for it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
