do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize