idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
