When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
