Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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