Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
