the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
