So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And then my night got REAL pukey
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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