I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
