You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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