Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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