Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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