Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
