Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
