Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i need some magic done to my vagina
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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