well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
