Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He? As in you personified your dick?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
