it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
