the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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