i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
