You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
