Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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