I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
