from now on my penis is your penis
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
