She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
