I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
