What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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