This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
