the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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