Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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