Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
