why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
