My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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