just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
