Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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