its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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