you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
