I smell stomach acid.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
