How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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