just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
