yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
