I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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