Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize