Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This toilet bowl is my home.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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