so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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