I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
