says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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