I'm passing your future prison.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
