True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
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you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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