my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
