we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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