I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
