If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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