You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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