How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
