none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
