Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
