I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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